ANSWERS to the COW QUIZ

You've REALLY taken my quiz now, right?

1. A cow-lover is much more likely to moo than a frog.
2. A cow is clearly smarter than a dog.
3. Cows are Level Neuf skiers, not measly Level Twos.
4. "One squeeze, three moos" is the well-known saying.
5. Brigham's, not Toscaninni's (as good as they are) is the chain which was selling mooing cows this summer.
6. Everyone knows that Christina has more cow things than Ben does.
7. See? Christina has two mooing cows in her room!
8. As much as it pains me to admit it, Ben is far more of a born cow-lover than is Robert.
9. A cow's favorite language is always French.
10. Cows are cool. (They appreciate alliteration.)

• 9-10 = A.
  Excellent! You are truly able to call yourself a cow-lover. Feel good about yourself the rest of the day; walk up to random people and tell them you got an 'A' on the Cow Quiz.
• 7-8 = C/B.
  Well, you're certainly on the right track, but you need to work a little harder. Read over my pages for clues--there are lots of them out there that you must be missing!
• 5-6 = D.
  Even grading on a curve is barely making you pass. You need to think seriously about how important cows are to you, and you need to make them more a part of your life. That is the only way to turn your score around and improve.
• 0-4 = F.
  You failed. You are a miserable loser who knows nothing about the better things in life. Go drink some milk--it's as close to being a cow-lover as you can hope to get. Have a nice day!

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