Laurie and Chris's 07-07-07 Wedding

as told by Table Fourteen, the "We Were There When They Met" table

Everyone got lost going to the wedding and was late or nearly late: Someone in Debbie's car had a shoe emergency; David had to find an alternate ride to the wedding (but don't worry, he succeeded); we missed our turn and kept driving for a looooong way before getting useful information and doubling back; Miriam, who is normally never lost, was at the right address on another part of the right street, in front of another church (but the wrong church), with a lot of desperate cellphone calls flying back and forth.

We all reserve the right to complain about the directions for at least the next nine years, though we did finally meet up with David and flag down Miriam and Davis as they at last made it to the right church and took our seats (bride's side or groom's side--what a dilemma!).

Seated at last on the groom's side (Laurie's side was winning, but possibly that was due to the home-court advantage rather than people just liking her more, so we tried to even it out), we watched Debbie, Dorothy, and the shoe emergency arrive, only to discover that now there was a dress emergency--Miriam and Dorothy were wearing the same dress! (Both were apparently miffed at not being bridesmaids, and so this was their revenge.)

Laurie and Chris had a snazzy ride to the reception, waving from their fire truck like movie stars, while Laurie's brother shared a round of beers out of the back of his van with anyone who wanted fortification on the way to the reception--David and Sarah, at least, took him up on his offer. Debbie gave David a ride to the reception, so he didn't have to hop on the firetruck and sit on Laurie's lap.

At the reception, Robert was sad that there wasn't a big 7:07 p.m. announcement--he thought it would have been perfect for a toast with one of the signature cocktails, the Flambalero and the Chiambanagan. Too late, we realized we could have talked emcee Mike Ike into announcing it (with enough enthusiasim, one could probably talk him into anything, and this would have been a worthy cause indeed).

Miriam hijacked one of the waitress's trays during the cocktail hour and started serving, but the waitress reminded her that she'd forgotten her stack of napkins to offer to people. Money changed hands many times, most of it meant for the waitress, but some of it ending up in Miriam's bosom.

That same waitress (Debra) came back to save the day when David--already the problem person at our full-of-problem-people table--asked for an extra children's meal during dinner. The children's meal arrived, and David graciously passed it around the table for everyone to share his french fries. One person held the plate, and the next person took a fry, dipped it in the ketchup ramekin on the plate, and ate it before passing the plate on. Sarah and I screamed at the same time, "It's just like Communion!" so we all said a prayer for Chris and Laurie as we ate ye all of it--so much so that David had to call the nice waitress over again ("What do you want now?" she asked) to request yet another plate of fries (thanks, David!).

After the second round of Communion (you can never have enough sacraments, after all), Dorothy and Miriam fought it out for the right to wear the dress for the rest of the evening, but since neither had a change of clothes handy, the fight was ruled a draw.

Robert, who has a penchant for setting things on fire, had spent most of the dinner playing with the tealights on our table, but they kept moving mysteriously away from him and as far to my left as I could reach. That put about four tealights right in front of Miriam, who--sometime between dinner and cake--put her napkin on the table when she stood up. One charred napkin later, I blew out all the tealights. Really, the napkin was only partially burned--even if completely ruined.

Much later, after everyone made sure David had a ride home from the reception ("Sorry, we just have a two-seater," Laurie said, backing away), we left the newlyweds and a few die-hard revelers partying until dawn--or whenever the DJ was paid until.

What else did we do that weekend? Don't forget lots more Philadelphia tourist fun. . . .

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Created: 7/9/07. Last Modified: 7/9/07.