Hart’s M*A*S*H Birthday Party:
March 9th, 2007
Before we begin, decide
whether the statements below are true or false.
Sarah is a sucker for a party with
good food and a good theme.
Sarah goes all out for everyone
else’s birthdays year-round.
Sarah is one of the three biggest
M*A*S*H addicts I know.
True: she is. She absolutely is,
whether it’s Chris’s Famous Smiley-Faced Party, or Suzi’s
Mardi Gras N’awlins Bash, or Debbie’s “Everyone’s
an Addict” Party, or Meg’s Hello Kitty Famous Blank Face Party
(wait, that last one hasn’t actually happened yet. . . ). Themes, decorations,
and food--thematic food, of course--are the keys to Sarah’s party happiness.
True: she does. See the above-mentioned
parties. Sarah’s an incredibly generous, considerate person all the
time, but with extra spurts of generosity and consideration that go into trying
to make her friends’ birthdays everything they always wanted but couldn’t
True: she is. Before her DVD player
broke, she would watch a couple episodes virtually every morning and night,
while getting ready for work or for bed, cycling through the DVDs perpetually.
(Sidenote: Who are the other two biggest M*A*S*H addicts I know? They would
be me, who obsessively catalogued every episode (except two, annoyingly, which
Fox kept refusing to air) on videotape in high school, editing out the commercials,
and Robert’s grandma Helena, who lives for the nights “that good
show” is rerun for a few hours solid in the evening and who speaks about
the characters as though they live next door to her.)
Given all of this, of course, a M*A*S*H-themed
birthday party seemed like a natural idea for Sarah's birthday.
Food and Drink
Army-meets-Korea spam kim bap (spam
maki with Korean daikon pickles)
“It’s Movie Night”
popcorn (No, The Moon is Not Blue)
Straight from Chicago. . . Adam’s
Rib Ribs (with homemade Coca-Cola barbeque sauce) (thanks to Klinger's uncle)
Chef Igor’s famous mashed
Chef Igor’s famous pork and
veal meatloaf with brown gravy
Army classic baked beans
Army classic tuna noodle casserole
Korean-seasoned romaine salad with
bean sprouts, scallion, and cucumber
Assorted homemade cookies by Mrs.
Hunnicut (chocolate-oatmeal-cherry cookies, peanut butter chocolate cookies,
and decorated vanilla sugar cookies--they make BJ homesick!)
Colonel Potter’s Mortgage-Burning
Cake Sarah Hart’s Birthday Cake: triple layer red velvet cake with
cream cheese frosting
Officer’s Club spiked tropical
Radar’s Favorite: Grape, peach,
and orange Nehi soda, in real glass bottles, imported from the wilds of the
South and Midwest for the occasion (thanks to Klinger's uncle the Internet)
the picket fence banner the gang
made for Potter's mortgage-burning party
army helmets and surgical masks
for quick and dirty costume accessories
a "Who's your favorite M*A*S*H
character?" bathroom poll
camouflage sheets and pillowcases
used as slipcovers in the living room
View or download a
Word file with a M*A*S*H trivia test--complete
with matching columns, multiple choice, short-answer questions, and an open-ended
essay question--which we took that evening. Sarah won the prize (the original
M*A*S*H book which inspired the movie which inspired the TV show) with a score
in the 80s (out of a possible total of 100%), with second- and third-place finishers
tied at 55 points, Robert--who claims he's absorbed this minimal amount of M*A*S*H
knowledge by osmosis from living with me--in fourth place with a score in the
40s, and everyone else dismally below that. No, there was no curve: Sarah won
fair and square. And no, I'm not posting the answers--you can look them up one
by one yourself if you still don't know!
and Sean: you can't really see it, but she's wearing a M*A*S*H shirt, and her
camouflage helmet blends right into the bean bag chair. That's a mostly-gone
bottle of grape Nehi in front of her, too.
and Christine, in full military gear:he's a costume freak, and we love him for
it, but it got a little too hard to eat the popcorn and mashed potatoes with
his gloves and gas mask on.
and Meg: doesn't she look cute in scrubs?
Nurse "Hot Lips" Flanagan lent them for the occasion, since she was
unfortunately not feeling well.
John, Debbie, Karen, Candace and friend, and Ren watch Sarah open her presents
later in the evening.
Karen "Lil Karen" B.,
with her inside contacts at an elementary school, for borrowing and delivering
a few dozen institutional lunch trays--perfect for the occasion--and for helping
Suzi, for making up a fabulous Evite,
coordinating Sarah's attire, and bringing ice, after Debbie, Chris, and Ben
S. all previously had ice-delivery debacles and now refuse to ever bring it
again, and after Miriam (sorry--couldn't keep it a secret!) volunteered to
bring ice and then cancelled.
Meg, for bringing a supply of our
thousand-pack of sporks from the library downtown.
Chris and Laurie, for supplying
alcohol as well as--a given, what with Laurie's everyday status as Nurse "Hot
Lips" Flanagan--surgical masks and bandages for decorations.
Debbie, for bringing the borrowed
Hawaiian leis that scream "it's a party in 1950s Korea." (For those
not in the know, festivities at the 4077th always involve leis and Hawaiian